Role reversal – Do your children want a permanent house guest?

Have you ever thought what it would be like to live with your in laws?  Not your parents or his but with you daughter and her husband.

Financially there is an argument for it – costs are halved and when the grand children arrive there are built in baby-sitters not to mention some one to look after the house and pets whilst you are on holiday. Most grandparents would not mind the occasional baby sitting as long as it doesn’t morph into full time day and night care!

Situations like this work if there is reciprocity – being taken for granted is the death knell of any relationship.  In a perfect world this plan should work but it has a better chance of working if the grandparents have their own accommodation  such as a built on flat or perhaps converting the garage.  That way each “family group ” can get way into their own space – away from close daily proximity which can cause friction – but it will always be a work in progress!

But then there is the personality side of things – sooner or later the young couple feel that they will never be “grown up” fully if they are still living with parents – the parents on the other hand would also like their own home but finances do not permit – then unfortunately there is a stalemate resulting in simmering tensions and fights over what TV program to watch and whose turn it is to make supper.

To make this work involves a lot of open and sensitive communication from both sides to find how the working relationship can work and still retain the enjoyment of the family.